stuck up bitch

i thought maybe bcos weve known each otehr for so long wer a team, but now your just such stuckup bitch thats hiding things from us. i thought us 4 wer pretty good then kinda went down but obviously thats just waht i thought. thanks for leaving us behind to pursue old frendships that i you told me we BOTH lost.

its more like a stab in the back bcos u didnt even tell us. and someone innocent crashed into you guys. but its okay. bcos now i know even tho i thought our frendship was real, its got holes in it too.

breaking the ice

its easier to shut out people if you have a motive (: and mine is shouting loud & clear even if some people are scarier than you think.

its like living in a bloody tvdrama. everyoneelse leads normal lives why are ours so dramatic :O

omgosh its christmas eve tomroorw and it doesnt feel christmas.. oh dear :/

last christmas is stil very warm&fuzzy in my mind (: this dae last yr i would be ... in korea just flown there & be going out agen... nagawww miss it ! >:C

soo lazy didnt even put up the tree this yr.. loosing the christmas spirit ): sighfish..

dear you,

i thought it was inevitable that i'll never see you on a pedestal after waht you did to A. but after todae, i almost forgot and i still hoped for you to fit in and become and understand another part of my world. im shy around you, bcos in a while wer still too civil to be good frends, but it changes. at least im not nervous to talk to you animore. but im suprised that i actually didnt see you in a different light. or maybe its jsut bcos i dont know you well enouugh. its inevitable that when A is around things mite be seen differently, but during this time while he wont be? i hope it leaves us time to be better frends :) bcos i want to build a real frendship with you and not just bcos your a frend of some1 that is dear to me even tho somehow you did hurt him as a frend too.

theres some gap that i cant quite locate, its like i dont feel totally at ease when we hang out. but heeey~ i hope we'll fix that :)

ilybro:)

someone once said : boy & girl bestfrends dont work until yovue liked each other and talked about it and gotten over it.

after todae, i think :) im ready to be bestfrends agen <3 how you talked about girlfie? hehe i can tell your in it for reals this time :) the way you said : "im going to see my girlfie" hehehe made me smile bcos of your chessynesss :P ilybro :) and you make me smile everytime you visit mee ^^ even just todae :D gaa~ you make me laugh. you can be sucha dick sometimes... and i mentally stab you in my brain, but then i just love how your soo lame <3

no matter how many times ppl tell me your not a good influence? idkare.. bcos every other time..they told me some1 was crap for me ? theyd come back 3 years later.. and tell me.. his fkrn mad afterall..

and im like OMGOSHH.. but i giggle inside but through all the sadfish things, i secretly knew ;)

ilyyyyy <3 in a non-gross way ;)

im sorry

im sorry that now everytime we talk its less and less exciting, less and less silly & memorable.
i dont think its called growing up but more like wer getting tired.

i used to alwaes brag about how ive got this really amazing frend.. that puts up with me and never flinches when i get angry... and alwaes lets be have my way even when it makes no sense. but the more weve thought about things and sed the things that used to be magically left unsaid, i realised... it ruins the frendship.

i guess i used to be the ignorant one in this frendship and now that waht i used to say to you or do to you wasnt very nice of me, ive changed to become a frend that deserves you. But it jst means the memories weve had wont repeat itself bcos our frendship is no longer pure.

now.. i havta think about things before i tell you.. and now i have worry whether youd be too busy to hear about my dae or even if your too busy sorting some1elses problems. i guess ive learnt to be less selfish from you, but at the same time, lost a frend i used to tell everything too :/ now we keep secrets to keep our distance and sometimes, im scared you judge me.

funny huh? we used to talk everydae and never realise what we say but still have a great time. Now, your just like any other... you may ring and i mite get tired or we'll just sit there in silence in our seperate mindsets. i dunro how to keep you away bcos youve meant soo much to me over the yrs, but im scared if we go on like this.. we'll eventually become hi bye frends. i dont have teh guts to tell you this in person bcos i know id end up in tears. i hope you never read this, or even if u find this, you wouldnt know its you. but i needed to let this out.. bcos tonite i just felt like i was distracting you from waht you really wnan achieve in life & thats just too selfish of me

when things used to be simple for me, it probably caused you much pain and time and patience.. but thankss for being that frend... but i dont think i quite deserve someone like you.

inevitable:)

my judgements prettty off but thats okay >:]

mmm~ ydae i realised that " the oldest cliches are the most powerful & are most true "

i mean, if theyre so cheese and everyone hates them, why are they being passed on for soo many generations? its bcos the ugliest things the hardest to say at teh most true.

like; if the old doesnt go, how will the new come?

inevitablly perceptions change, but wer trying to control that :)