Saturday, October 2, 2010

bymyself

maybe ive finally contronted the fact that my attendance is based on people and not waht its true should be. & if i slack off once, it feels so right to do it agen :/

bcos of yr12 ive make the change of hanging out in my room alot more and realised.. i love that im by myself bcos even if ur bored.. you can do stupid things behind the door and none of your family wil look at you like you diseased or something; but it makes me wonder, is this level of crave of personal time even healthy ?

i guess i getta find that out in the upcoming year. thought it would be hard to hangout in my room alone bcos i used to think i love being non-lonely but i obviously latter come to realise im the very oopposite. or maybe that one month we shared changed my need to depend on the entertainment from others and learn to deal with it and channel it into somethingelse. which atm, strangely is looking over work :/ weird huh?

its obviously a learning/changing stage and has come at due time bcos of teh hsc this yr and the next, the isolation would help ease me into the pattern of 'concentrating'. I honestly feel like i WANT to end up being an anti-social.. even tho i so strongly sed i don ever wanna be. But it feels so easy to do... hanging in my room, alone.. is kinda fun

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