forever? psht

mmmmmm, very distracted in every way. ooops.

" Im glad wer still close like before " he says.

" I wonder what will happen if we got angry at each other , would this end ? " i say

" We wont get angry at each other. but if we do, id cry" he says

dont wanna be pessimistic maaang, but when you expect forever, it kinda doessssnt really work taht way..

lucky God is forever without a doubt. -phewwwf- loveloveloveYou God&Jesus&Mr.Holy Spirit

hmmm~ on a more serial note: discipleship, & china.. i know... camp aint suppose to be about funfunfun... but... i can imagine hwo gay its gna be without very important ppl who make the camps awsome :) & with china... i dont think im ready. i want it to be something i do when im really ready & i can do it whole heartedly and just wanna BURST AND HELP PPL :D but right now, im not quite there yet even on the maturity levels. I hope they have fun & learn alot about serving ppls but :o

puts a smile to my face when i hear how others have realised theyve showd a little bit og God in their lives ; tehee..

OMFISHINGGORSH, i needa do my speech... fml

hehee.. finding every single excuse not to do it... even PLAYING THE PIANO before it .. wtf..

okokay concentrate! bubbbies -lovelove-

some things you havta admit, some things you havta accept..
some things you havta let go of and some things you just lie to yourself about bcos it makes you feel that little bit more worthy of it all..

some things, YOU think is reasonable.. some things others think its a big deal...
one dae... just one sundae surely wasnt too overboard? surely it wasnt too unreasonable ? but here there are .. 10 billion voices telling me what to do with my life..

yeh i sound stubborn and stupid and unreasonable but watever. i just wanted to get away from it all and its not like i even do it on a regular basis... how many ppl dont turn up to sundae skool bcos they dont feel like it or decided to sleep in ? and here i am.... once in i dunro how many years.. i get told off for it...

but watever...

sersly didnt think anyone would notice so it didnt matter? but the one time they did? it HADTA be this tiem.. yehh.. it feels like some game Gods playing with me ... but i dont wanna give in just yet..

genuinelaughter(LOVEPHSHOMIIES)

i dunro if i had a good time todae or not...

at first it was all innocent.. then some EFFING PMS SHITFACE ruined it all... im still angry.. but i did mean the apology i gave to him...

bcos it was alll a misunderstanding...

jigged to strath todae... long story.. dont wanna go into details...

but the later part was good :)

not all the karaoke and being stuck in the room with ppl smoking.. and 10 guys singing their hearts out and blowing out our ear drums..

but catching the train back with S+Z+F and meet with F+SE+C

even sittin at the foodcourt at blacktown... and playing.. " stab/shoot , shag marry " with the guys.. using teachers, fellow students & ugly ppl who happened to be walking by or sitting around.

haha.. aww i love you guys.. bcos this time.. it was genuine laughter.. and for real.. we couldnt stop laughing... felt soo fuzzzy... felt like yr7 all over agen..

just some of us are leaving next yr.. some more rememberd than others...

i still havent decided if i wanan cry or smile ... if i should write a card to say goodbye? or just suck it up and pretend i dont care

but jigging todae.. will be the last memory of "us" and im truely glad we went :)

Peoplesay...

People say... you can alwaes walk away from a fight. ( too bad emotional hurtful sayings forever lingers in your head.. how could you ever run away from taht.. )

People say... only good kids get to see stars at night. ( too bad for me, im never gna see a star agen in my life )

People say... toilets are the best place to cry your eyes out ( i say... toilets without mirrors are... bcos then you dont havta see how ashamed you are of all this)

People say... your family will be there for you alwaes and alwaes love you. ( i say... not when its soo hard trying to talk to them without getting judged )

People say... frends are there to comfort you, ( frends are there to ATTEMPT to make you feel better, there are no guarentees )

People say... best frends will never judge. ( they do. even for a moment bcos its only human, then the rest? they never mention it agen so no1 will ever know theyd judged the situation in the first place )

People say... family will alwaes accept you for who you are. ( well thats not whats im feeling atm )

People say.. I love you ( trust me, its just something they say to shut you up )

teddybearcuddlesplease:C

Last night, i tried to huddle in a ball & force myself to sleep. But it was cold & very dark :(

Where were you when i needed a cuddle :( , wished you were here to just sit there and talk things thru with me.

Gna miss having you around, to just sit there. even when sometimes we sit in silence.

Teddybears dont hug back... but sometimes , theyre all youve got <3

finding/seeking/looking whats another synonym ?

Dont wanna do it animore, its no longer because im used to it, or bcos im tired of it. Its because i just dont wanna do it animore. Its not even because i think its boring, i just dont wanna have anything to do with this. Nothing.

Wanna find some new thing to look forward to, maybe thats why its been so dull right now. I need that something new to look for. Hmmmm, maybe this is just me seeking after material things but i AM bored. because getting used to things gives you expectations, and when things dont happen like they used to, it just gets weird and uncomfortable. But hey, thats are BIG YELLOW SIGN saying : 'move on honey ! find something new' well, thats what im doing.... !

finding something new :)

singyourselftosleep

You know the times when yours soo drain, you just wanna shut yourself out from the world and be still.

listen to the wind, sing yourself a lullaby and put yourself to sleep.

tired but still beautiful (twentyfive-ten-twothousand&nine)

-------------------------ohemgee. im tired.

just tired to the point i cannot feel my left arm at all. completely serious no joke.
but it was all for a good cause :) for A+R wedding todae.

aniwaes, was sleeping in the car ydae, and realised you can see yourself in the side review mirrors ! :O

then

i looked at some other photos todae and found, the habours amazing at night when all the sky-scrapers were lit up ? combined the two ideas, i found this foto:D (please starrrreeee below xp)

<--- pretty aye ( tehee )

P.S. i finally understood why they called it a sky-scraper. bcos they are soooooo talll, they scrape the sky ! like omgosh, tahts genius 8) whoever came up with taht xp