YOURtheonewhosaid,

Your the one who said, life would suck if we grew apart...

Your the one who said, life would suck if we never talked agen.

Your the one who said, you couldnt live without us so youd never leave.

Well, im truely disapointed. All youve ever told me was BS, bcos when things truely stood hard and cold in your life? you bailed on us.

Todae i learnt what " jowahaeyo" meant. And bcos of you, i know that everytime it comes out of your mouth, it'll just be meaningless blabble to me.

So no. I take "jowahaeyo" back..

Song lyrics say the word we cannot say. Listen to " Driving Myself Insane - Frankie J "

Because thats what our frendship was before all this happend...

DutyORHappiness

Some things make you feel truely blessed. frends family love

But some things you take on as a duty. to love to share to care. I say to myself i love doing this, its no longer a duty. & i still believe in such an idea. But it left me thinking :

Am i doing this to seek approval? or am i truely whole-heartly doing it to help & include others? Is it really a hidden duty or is it something i do to please myself and ease myself from guilt?

But i found, at the beginning i did do it to please others but as it grew on me, i found the happiness that i get from knowing this person's life has been brightened by my efforts because of Gods guidance, and how even if it was just a glimpse, they COULDVE seen a touch of my heavenly Father thru me ? made my heart leap.

Its a happiness that can NEVER EVER EVER BE REPLACED. i dunro how to explain it ><>

ive found my place to serve for now, and i hope when im ready, God will load more onto my back to glorify His Name.

I Love You Lord<3

shadow is to black&white as reflections are to PLASMALCDTVs

Todae i learnt shadows are more prehistoric than reflections

becauuuuuuuuuuuuuse

just like black & white tv, shadows are black & white whilst reflections are colourful and shape with much detail sucha as a plasma LCD tv! 8)

singyourselftosleep

You know the times when yours soo drain, you just wanna shut yourself out from the world and be still.

listen to the wind, sing yourself a lullaby and put yourself to sleep.

speaksforitself

tired but still beautiful (twentyfive-ten-twothousand&nine)

-------------------------ohemgee. im tired.

just tired to the point i cannot feel my left arm at all. completely serious no joke.
but it was all for a good cause :) for A+R wedding todae.

aniwaes, was sleeping in the car ydae, and realised you can see yourself in the side review mirrors ! :O

then

i looked at some other photos todae and found, the habours amazing at night when all the sky-scrapers were lit up ? combined the two ideas, i found this foto:D (please starrrreeee below xp)

<--- pretty aye ( tehee )

P.S. i finally understood why they called it a sky-scraper. bcos they are soooooo talll, they scrape the sky ! like omgosh, tahts genius 8) whoever came up with taht xp

ilovephoto-graphy!

This is like a perfect picture. Perfect moment :) The baalueskie with white clouds and an outline of the ferris wheel :)

There is sucha thing as perfection <3

wannadrink? tehee

Aww i dunro if this move, but its really pretty. :) wanted to brighten up my dae when things seems to have darkened.

bro,YOURmygiftfromHEAVEN

Todae, felt like a fresh/rocky/exciting start. Sometimes you have those frends you see, dont reallly say hi to but you acknowledge their exsistance? Some have a hidden deeper friendship that are not nessasarily shown on the surface. But sometimes...

I forget we were close.

because honestly even tho we are frends on the surface its nothing comparable to what we have underneath. But when we have those deep conversations, and when you text me to ask me hows things are going, or when you call me as soon as im out of your sight to ask why my smile was upside down? It really feels good. really warm and touching and the connection between us really does buzz again.

I felt it todae. Im so happy wer frends, because even when you said over the fone ' your my gift from heaven ' ive been meaning to say it back to you too bro. No matter how sugarcoated your words are to everyone, im glad i noe the real you. because underneath that smiling face, you really are genuine not some fake thats trying to please everyone. :)

But i must say, the last time i got reminded was too long ago to remember. I almost convinced myself wer not even frends animore. But here you are patting me on the shoulder and just being there for me. People say, : ' friends can just be there and sit there and say nothing. but their existance automatically makes you feel better. ' But no. Only true friends make you feel like taht inside. Doesnt matter how many hundred facebook buddies you have in your account. Can you say at least ONE HUNDRED of them can just sit by you say nothing yet make you feel better? Probably not. But if you can say yes, im happy for you because you have been blessed with many true friends. <3

worth how much?

• A smile is priceless ( not worth-less but worth-everything )
• A picture paints a thousand words
  
  I remember Adam saying in yr7 : Miss, if a picture was worth a thousand words? could we just draw you a picture? and you could see Miss really wanting to say yes, because she was so touched by the words of a little yr7 boy. Haha. we were so cute back then.
  
  But a smile/laugh is worthless because just one effortless smile can make someones dae. My aim is to hopefully make someones day everyday, because it proves i have a purpose in life :) and a meaning for God to have places me here. <3

YOUrflawlesstoME

My haert still skips a beat when your on, happy to talk to you even after all we've been thru. I still notice your display name change and the little notices you post out, pretending it was ever about me. Sometimes i trick myself into thinking we still have something in common, even believing sometimes your posts are hidden responses to mine.

Sometimes i slap myself in the head because i know i should know better, but lately, after knowing i'll never see you everydae again... i wished i treaused every moment of our years.. because its NOW that i realised, even if we were never close, id still get to see you and be with you everyday.

When I had you, it was hard to believe because you seemed so perfect and so admirable but as time passed, i even believed i deserved you. How silly am I.. because i definately didnt. I thought after it all, you hated me. but even when i look back now, i still dunro why we fell out of love, because there was not even a moment i hated you. I hated myself for being so ignorant and so relunctant to show you my true feelings because in a way, i was scared i was just being played.

I still notice everything about you, but then i believed that was just me holding onto my past and loving who i thought was you, but not until now, i realised you notice me too. Because when we talk, you arent outdated by what happens around me, we still talked asif we never fell apart. You still talk to the people around me, but everytime i see you in person, i feel your cold-shoulder. My brain tells me its over because how could someone act so differently all the time, but my heart still lies to me. My heart still loves you and my heart still longs for you to tell me you love me too.

But now, while loving you, i think of someoneelse. Because im moving on, well... so it seems. Todae, unexpectly i overheard a quote: " When you love some1 you overlook all their flaws no matter what they are. " The person i claim to be thinking of now? im digging up his flaws, so i guess i still havent relearnt how to love yet. Because suprisingly when i heard this, my heart thought of you... because no matter how many flaws ppl dig up to describe you, i can only concentrate on all the good things youve done for me. <3

Dear Lord, I Love You

Id like to believe bonds never crumble. Id like to believe theres alwaes a silver light taht leads you to "forever" but it only took me 15 years to realise theres no such thing. Not in human terms aniwaes:

They say " Friendships will fade, relationships will shatter, but the Lord is alwaes with you. "

Lord, Please gimme strength to make the right decisions. Because i know the decisions i make now are ignorant and sometimes silly/stupid. but they are the best i could come up with now. Please make me more wise and more like You. I Love You Lord, please constantly remind me of You, and how Your alwaes by my side.

How I am so undeserving, but You died for me... I Love You & the people you have placed around me in the short life you have granted me on this earth..

As in Your Words the bible you said : there is ONE earth, but MANY heavens.



Thankyou.

Crazy Cycle

Dont you hate it when you know something important is near and your afraid it'll happen and your life becomes all about worrying about that one thing, but motivation gets in the way? the feeling of knowing you HAVE to do something, then find every other excuse not to do it... then waking up the next dae KNOWING its not done and the cycle does on as you count down the daes you have left ..

Even ranting doesnt help, even when many have told me to get off my butt and do it, i only get that little boost of motivation after ive been to each lesson... bcos at that moment i feel ; " YES, i can do this !" but within the next 1/2 hour, you realise it just a sense of relief to get away from it all until the next lesson..

But its not like its actually a week of sensational peace, its really just 2 days, whilst during those two daes the crazy cycle goes all over again.
Ive done this for so many years, but not once have i felt so insecure about doing it... A person said to me recently " Just practise enough for you to be able to say to your heart, youve done your best, so even if you fail, you know youve done all you can"

Wished I could, but i still feel like i cant.

moment i n history ♥

Havent blogged since yearsix :X but lately, ive decided events/moments/stuff should be noted down for keepsafe before things in the memorybox wear out. So here goes nothing! My first offical blog that counts :)

exactly todae, right here right now.

Back-tracking to ydae,

A promise is a promise, and pinky promises are extra-hard to keep because they are extra speshial too. Ydae was Day1 for a pinky promise im trying to keep to a certain someone because its something i said id do for 1 month. (hopefully if im capable, id carry it on )

Ive alwaes said id try and do it, but never really took it to haert because it just seemed so easy to fail, so easy to find excuses. But because of a very moving/motivational talk last nite from certain people, and a certain someone told me his aim in life, the goal he carries everywhere will him, I, personally found a new kind of respect for him as a frend and even tho he might'nt know, his a new rolemodel to me.

My excuses were from the doubt ive had. The 'fake/non-actionable' promises i had to carry on, but the way he said : " I know you can do it, because your the one frend i noe taht could carry it on " made me tear inside. Because after he said it, i found myself thinking : how could I let him down, how could i possibily be sucha bad frend.

So heres this to you, you know who you are :) to a frend, to a new rolemodel :) <3>